“I (name) take you (name) as my lawfully wedded
wife/husband. Before these witnesses I vow to love you for as long as we shall
live. I take you with all your faults and strength. I will help you when you
need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with
whom I will spend my life.”
The above formulary used in contracting a civil/protestant
marriage by and large contains the substance of other forms of getting married.
The standard phrases invoked for marriage intents and purposes are the
following – in addition to the above quoted “I choose you as the person I will
spend my whole life with my whole life”: “I will love you today, tomorrow, and
forever.” “Let us commit our lives together for all the days to come.” “I give
you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we
both shall live.” The more commonly said and heard marriage vow goes this way: “…to
have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer and
for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.”
On the other hand, there is the so-called Divorce which may
have different expressions and/or explanations that are however the same in
substance and implications. It is essentially understood as a “split,” “rupture,”
“segregation,” “dissociation” or “division” – irrespective of the reasons or
factors that cause it. In other words, it is the legally confirmed rift between
spouses that automatically carries therewith the personal option of the man
and/or the woman to get married to others.
Usually, a “Divorce” is obtained on the ground of
infidelity, abandonment and other causal factors, every one of which
nevertheless can be purposely done precisely to get divorced. But then, there
is even the so-called “No Fault Divorce” premised only on the desire of both
parties to call it quits as spouses. There is no need to look for any guilt on
the part of the man and/or woman. It is enough that they no longer want to stay
married. Add hereto the usual silence about how many marriages and divorces
either or both parties may enter into and obtain, respectively.
The fundamental question is whether the decision to get
really married and the option to become eventually divorced can truly coexist
in one and the same man and/or woman. The answer is a loud “Yes!” if the
Wedding Vows are changed – to something like this: “I (name) take you as my
wife/husband for all long as we want, for better but not for worse, for richer
but not for poorer, in health but no in sickness.” Or something the like. Such
words or phrases as the following are but big jokes when marriage and divorce
go hand and hand: “forever,” “for all the days to come,” “’til death do us
part.” Common sense says so – no need for profound understanding, academic
excellence of professional degree.
